Sunday, August 23, 2009

Really Interesting Facts About a Very Vicious Leopard and Other Neat Animals




- A leopard can carry three times its body weight up a tree! THAT IS CRAZY!

- Montana mountain goats will butt heads so hard their hooves fall off. I bet that hurts!

- The last animal in the dictionary is the Zyzzyva, a tropical weevil. I bet you he got made fun of a lot in elementary school.

- Honeybees have hair on their eyes. That would be really irritating if you had contacts.

- There's a "meow" in the middle of "homeowner." Meow are you doing today? Meow now brown cow. Here comes more animal facts right meow.

- Surveys show that 62 percent of dog owners admit that their dog owns a sweater, wintercoat or raincoat. Fags.

- Cats prefer to eat their food at 86ยบ F, which is why they don't immediately gulp down the half-eaten can of food from the refrigerator. This is one reason why people intentionally try to run over cats with their cars.

- At least 63% of dog owners admitted to kissing their dogs. Of these, some 45% kissed them on the nose, 19% on the neck, 7% on the back, 5% on the stomach and 2% on the legs. An additional 29% listed the place they kiss their dog as other(where else are they kissing their dog?). I'm getting a dog tomorrow. I bet you all the money in my wallet i will not kiss it anywhere.

- The study of ants is called Myrmecology, but really, who gives a shit?

- A hippo can run faster than man, except for that Jamaican guy.

- A Panda's diet is 99% bamboo. If I were to go out to dinner with one I would not let him pick the restaurant.

- The leech has 32 brains. That sucks.

- At the end of the Beatles' song 'A Day in the Life,' an ultrasonic whistle, only audible to dogs, was recorded by Paul McCartney for his Shetland sheepdog, who didn't even buy the album.

- The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. That is not ok with me. That is some Susan B. Anthony feminist bullshit.

- Studies show that if a cat falls off the seventh floor of a building it has about thirty percent less chance of surviving than a cat that falls off the twentieth floor. It supposedly takes about eight floors for the cat to realize what is occuring, relax and correct itself. At about that height it hits maximum speed and when it hits the ground it's rib cage absorbs most of the impact. I bet that was a fun study to do.

- Butterflies taste with their hind feet. Perhaps this is why they do not wear shoes.

- Pandas in China have been given Viagra to help them mate. This explains China's growing overpopulation problem.

- Bats always turn left when leaving a cave. I bet they would be really good NASCAR drivers.

- Over 10,000 birds a year die from smashing into windows. Goddamn Windex.

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