Nickelback is rad.

As I lie here in my bed late at night I have a question that I ask myself yet can find no reasonable answer for. That question is “how the fuck did Nickleback get famous”? I find it hard to believe that they toured around Canada in one of those vans that small time bands use going to venues across Canada while miraculously amassing fans from across the nation(except from Quebec because people from Quebec don’t like anything that isn’t French, gay, or a mime) working their way up the music scene. Imagine if you were in Toronto one night and you decided to go to a bar to see a random band that you’ve never heard of and fucking Chad Kroger and the rest of the Nickleback douchebags come out. They might seem cool at first but only because they’re underground and mainly because you’ve never heard their music. Then they start playing some shitty song that sounds exactly like Photograph or that song about being a ‘rockstar’ or any other nickelback song cause they all sound the same and if you say otherwise you should be put in a space shuttle and launched directly into the sun. If you didn’t leave within the first five minutes of their set or jammed shot glasses into your ears until they started to bleed then you would probably be standing there thinking, “damn, I just wasted ten Canadian dollars(which was equal to about ten monopoly dollars at the time I believe) to hear this god awful band play the same god awful song for the past 45 minutes”(that’s 50 minutes too long if you ask me). If a talent scout saw them at one of their early shows and liked them and wanted to sign them to a record label then he should be put in a space shuttle and launched directly into the sun, after his crucifixion of course. I expect our neighbors to the north to have better music taste than this, I mean c’mon guys, we’ll let Celine Dion slide but Nickleback? WHAT THE FUCK CANADA!? If nickleback was a movie they’d be Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull except worse.